the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize