Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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