Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
