Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
