Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize