He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
