is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
