just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
