Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
