apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
