Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
