Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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