Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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