everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Let's get the cat blown out
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
