The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
