I wish i was in the wii world.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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