he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
