I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
