you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
