woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
