just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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