I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize