That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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