Define "chronic" masturbator.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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