CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
