The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize