I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
