He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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