Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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