I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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