I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
