All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Someone came in the potted fern
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
