the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
