I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
cat food counts as protein by the way
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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