Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
