I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
