She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
