i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
