Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
