Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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