Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
