so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
