I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize