Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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