so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
