margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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