I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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