i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
