The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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