That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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