We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He better not be in your backpack
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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