I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
