I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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