Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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