im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
