Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
