I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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