3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
