Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
